Disappointment

Disappointment can be one of the toughest pills to swallow. It’s really worse than being upset. Have you ever had your hopes set higher than reality, yet it is not fulfilled. Life is full of disappointments, but how do we deal with them? I’m stepping into place of reflection right now to be transparent, so patient with me as I break this down.

Usually disappointment comes from something or someone that is held in high esteem. It hurts when you have to be let down, but also regroup and find another plan of action. It seems like disappointments are all that you deal with. I went through a place where I was let down time after time. Hoping for that big scholarship. Denied. Somehow I was good, but not good enough. Leaning on people for support. Denied. They seemed to be the ones who turned against my dreams. Looking forward to my first semester of college being a breeze. DENIED. I’ve learned more life lessons than I thought I could handle (read my previous post). At one point it seems like all of it was happening back to back.

When you’re in that place of disappointment, it hurts more than anything. Things have happened that you had no control over, which makes the reality of it so much worse. It seems to trump all of the good things that you have encountered.

Now here’s where I shift: Your disappointment is meant to redirect you! That’s it. It’s just that simple. May be easier said than done, but it is the truth. Did you disappointment deny you from something? Well, make another plan of action to achieve that one thing! Somebody let you down? Lean on God more, and learn to make things happen for yourself. Things are tough? change your routine to make it easier on yourself. Got the complete opposite outcome? Learn the lesson, but KEEP PUSHING! Take those disappointments and make them positive.

No matter what it is, you have the power to change! Life and Death is in the power of the tongue! First you must think it, then speak it into existence! You have the power to change your disappointments. All things work together for your good! No matter how they look, you can make it better.
The key is:
1) GOD
2) The power you have to command your life!
Once you realize the power you have over your life, nothing will be able to stop you. It may bring you down for a second, but it will not keep you down!

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: Cutiepiee_

Four Months of Life

College is really a preparation for life. You’re placed put in the world having to be on your own, making important decisions and planning for the rest of your days to come. For me, it is one of the most bittersweet times. I’ve only been in college for one semester, but that was enough to change me for the rest of my life.

This is my first time on my own in the world. Five hundred miles away was a big step for me seeing as the longest I left home was a week. I struggled and still struggle with being on my own. It is difficult when you have to rely on phone calls and text messages to keep in touch when everyone is so far away. Sometimes loneliness will sneak up on you and smother you. It’s rough mentally, physically and emotionally. There is no hug from the ones you need it the most. Emotions become unbearable because nobody understands. Mental strength leaves when you need it the most because of late nights, early mornings and busy days.

You learn who is truly for you. Those who claim that they will send things and keep in touch seem to disappear with each passing day. You’re forced to make friends with people who come from different parts of the world and can be completely different than you. Sometimes that call or text to someone back home isn’t answered until the next day, if its answered at all.

Survival becomes your life. Especially for a student traveling so far from home, everything is no longer at your disposable. Some days you have to go without the things that you need. Money starts to run low. The cafe isn’t serving anything worth eating. You have to learn how to work with what you have because what you have is all that you get.

You can no longer be the carefree person that you once were. There is no room for mistakes. Pity is no longer granted. Every choice you make virtually impacts your life. At times, there is no help, so you have to make your own way and somehow think of something out of nothing.

God is really the only thing that keeps you sane. Through all of it, He really is the only one to see you through all of the craziness, although the craziness seems to make Him feel so far away.

Don’t get me wrong, college is amazing. The freedom is endless. The parties are always jumping. The new relationships that you make are priceless. The experience is wonderful. It’s just the lessons that can be hard. Life lessons, I mean. The big point in all of this is: College has taught me that pain only pushes you forward. Some days the pain is unbearable, but it’s helping you to grow. I just so happen to be in that stage myself. As I evaluate what I have gone through in these last few months, I can’t see my lessons as being all bad, even though the pain of learning it is tough. You must take things with a grain of salt and see the lesson behind it all. Open up your mind to the big picture and release yourself from the small box of only seeing things for face value. Life is so much bigger than that. It’s amazing for me to think about how only four months of college has forced me to be outside of my comfort zone and really, I mean really have to put on my big girl panties. Some days, I must admit, I can be a baby. Comparing August to now, I am so much more than when I began.

For those of you who are on your way to college, just know, everything happens for a reason. Your end result will be better than the beginning if you just stick through the process no matter how tough the process is.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: Cutiepiee_

Storms

Hello all!

It’s been a while since I have blogged, but I am back. Bare with me on this one. As a warning, I am going to be very transparent. I am not a big fan of putting personal issues on social media, but I feel led to be an open book for the simple fact that my aim is to heal, and to help someone else heal. This post is not meant for all, but for those going through a storm. If you are not going through a rough time, bypass this message and go on with your merry day. If you are a person that is at a place where you are stuck, where you feel overwhelmed, and where you feel like you are not understood by anyone… This is for you.

In order for you to further understand the simple fact that I am going to give you at the end of this post, you must understand that you are not alone. Have you ever felt like nothing, no matter how hard you try, is working out for you? The people who are supposed to be your support system are the very ones trying to hold you back. Friends become less and less with each passing day OR you are surrounded by people yet you are lonely. The more you push to work and succeed, the more things begin to fail. You try to make everyone happy, although it makes you feel worse. You get enough sleep, yet your mind, body and spirit is drained. Optimism isn’t making the day brighter. When you are at the point of breaking down, you can’t. “You have to remain strong,” they say. Tears have fallen from your eyes so much that you have no tears left. Venting doesn’t help because nobody truly understands how you feel. The devil just keeps attacking you from every direction. You are fighting a battle within yourself along with the battle you are fighting against the world. YOU. ARE. BROKEN. I can say this because I understand. This is me.

If anything or everything I have just said relates to you, then listen closely.

Are you ready?

Well, Here it is:


GIVE IT ALL TO GOD!

Why? God is the greatest comforter. When nobody is there to listen, he is right there. Things fail, but he has a strategy for you. God is all you need. It took me a long time to fully understand. God had to break me in order to trust, depend, and look only to him. Life can sometimes get in the way to cloud your vision of who is really there for you. Your storm that you are in is almost over. The funny thing about storms is they are an indication that something major is on the way. Your storm is preparing you for what you were not ready to receive. The closer you get to your blessing, the darker the clouds and the heavier the storm gets but the end is brighter than the beginning! Isaiah 41:10 says “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” He did not bring you this far to leave you! Just hold on.

I hope that I have helped you, whomever you may be. Just remember to keep pushing. Every storm must end. The light is peeping through the darks clouds. You can see it if you just look up!

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

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My Attention is a GIFT, Not a GUARANTEE!

It took me a minute to find a topic for my next post. Just joking around, I finally found my next topic: Attention. I made a post not too long ago about attention. I was directly speaking to those who crave attention. Now, I’m talking to those who require attention but do not return the favor. When I refer to attention, in this context, I speak on attention in a general meaning. This is for friendships, and relationships.

Now let’s chat.

It is one thing for a person to try to get attention, but it’s a totally different thing for them not to reciprocate. Let me break it down further. It’s not okay for someone to require a friend, significant other, or acquaintance to constantly provide attention, yet cannot take a minute out of the day to do the same. Better yet, they cannot even be courteous enough to give the same amount of attention. Some people really have the game twisted.

If you are a person that has the juice (as many of us like to say), then one day you are juiceless… You need to check what you’re doing. You cannot expect for people to bend their backs trying to make you feel important, and they don’t get the same reaction. With friendships, people will not be there for you, show you the loyalty and support that you need unless you are able to match it; same for relationships.

Since the beginning of time, the world works through trade. Want something? Match my price. Period. Nothing is 80/20, everything is 50/50 – scratch that – everything is 100/100. For every action, there ought to be an equal reaction. What you put in, is what you get out.

Now it’s time to self evaluate.
-Do you wonder why people don’t treat you the same?
-Do you no longer get the attention that you once had?
-Do you have a problem with someone showing you the attention you “think” you deserve?
If you’re having a hard time answering these questions, or your answer is yes, then check what you do.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“What you grow, is based on the seed you sow.”
– Bishop Edgar Vann

*not only applicable to tithes and offering*

My Year in a Nutshell

This year has been the toughest year of my life. Emotional ups and downs, losing more than I imagined, being hurt tremendously, and being in a place of helplessness. One thing about this year that I must admit is that it is has been a lesson.

My first lesson was reality. Reality is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Reality hurts most when you come to grips with the fact that life will never be the same. The lesson comes in when you learn how to make change work in your favor. Change, no matter if its good or bad, can always work to make things better, whether losing or gaining…

Which brings me to lesson 2: Losing. I’ve lost friends this year. I’ve lost people that I deeply care about. Most of the time it was a loss of communication, or they just decided to walk away. It hurts. As humans, we tend to expect people to stay when in fact, most people are only meant for a season. Others are just dead weight. Those seasonal people are there to either guide you to the next step, or show you something new. They aren’t meant to stay forever and you can’t blame them for that. Now, the dead weight folks, are just things that happen to stick to you on your journey. They are people who are either users, haters, or people to hold you back. You can’t blame them either. A person must be true to who they are. This lesson taught me to appreciate those who are always in my corner.

Lesson 3: Happiness. Happiness is just an emotion. You can be happy now, and in the blink of an eye you can go through five other emotions. Happiness is temporary. My happiness would come one moment and everything from senior stress to carrying burdens would take it right away. One thing that this world can’t take is my joy. I had to learn to dwell in my joy.

This year has been rough, but It’s one simple thought that kept me afloat.
“It can always be worse.”
Life has proven that to me time and time again. When I think things couldn’t get worse, they did, but I knew that my situation was only meant to prepare me for my next level. My reason in saying all of this is because life tends to put you through a test in order to teach you a lesson. Whatever difficult time that you are in right now, is only meant to teach you something new. What is the test teaching? Only you can decide. Never take a struggle as something designed to break you. Thats what haters and the enemy sees your struggle as. If it was meant to break you, you wouldn’t be here reading this right now. Be wise enough to know that your struggle is only a setup for a comeback. Its setting you up to come back stronger, wiser, and more independent. Above all else, know that you has the best coach in all of the universe behind your back. God is always there, so never think that you are alone in this world. Your purpose is far greater than your pain, so keep pushing!

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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