My Year in a Nutshell

This year has been the toughest year of my life. Emotional ups and downs, losing more than I imagined, being hurt tremendously, and being in a place of helplessness. One thing about this year that I must admit is that it is has been a lesson.

My first lesson was reality. Reality is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Reality hurts most when you come to grips with the fact that life will never be the same. The lesson comes in when you learn how to make change work in your favor. Change, no matter if its good or bad, can always work to make things better, whether losing or gaining…

Which brings me to lesson 2: Losing. I’ve lost friends this year. I’ve lost people that I deeply care about. Most of the time it was a loss of communication, or they just decided to walk away. It hurts. As humans, we tend to expect people to stay when in fact, most people are only meant for a season. Others are just dead weight. Those seasonal people are there to either guide you to the next step, or show you something new. They aren’t meant to stay forever and you can’t blame them for that. Now, the dead weight folks, are just things that happen to stick to you on your journey. They are people who are either users, haters, or people to hold you back. You can’t blame them either. A person must be true to who they are. This lesson taught me to appreciate those who are always in my corner.

Lesson 3: Happiness. Happiness is just an emotion. You can be happy now, and in the blink of an eye you can go through five other emotions. Happiness is temporary. My happiness would come one moment and everything from senior stress to carrying burdens would take it right away. One thing that this world can’t take is my joy. I had to learn to dwell in my joy.

This year has been rough, but It’s one simple thought that kept me afloat.
“It can always be worse.”
Life has proven that to me time and time again. When I think things couldn’t get worse, they did, but I knew that my situation was only meant to prepare me for my next level. My reason in saying all of this is because life tends to put you through a test in order to teach you a lesson. Whatever difficult time that you are in right now, is only meant to teach you something new. What is the test teaching? Only you can decide. Never take a struggle as something designed to break you. Thats what haters and the enemy sees your struggle as. If it was meant to break you, you wouldn’t be here reading this right now. Be wise enough to know that your struggle is only a setup for a comeback. Its setting you up to come back stronger, wiser, and more independent. Above all else, know that you has the best coach in all of the universe behind your back. God is always there, so never think that you are alone in this world. Your purpose is far greater than your pain, so keep pushing!

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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Presentation is the Key

As many of you may or may not know, I’m quite on The Gram (Instagram) quite. So I see a lot of things down my TL – everything from shout-outs, games, and regrams. You name it. More often than lately I’ve been seeing so many posts of half naked females. If I see another, I’m going to SCREAM! So, I was inspired to write a little on self-esteem.

Self-esteem: n : A respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

I felt the need to put the definition up because we often times like to think of self-esteem and self-respect as being two separate things. No, they are the same.

Just as a check point: This post is specifically for my ladies who are reading. Not to discount my guys, I promise that I have something for you guys soon.

Any who… Recall my last post in which I discussed who we must love ourselves. Remember? Great. Now let’s take it a step further. I have some ladies that do not love what they see in the mirror, and apparently there are those who love themselves too much.

“What do you mean by that Tiana?” I’m glad you asked.

By loving yourself too much, I mean those of us who feel the need to show our goodies on social networks or walk around half-naked. Some of us may think it’s sexy, and some of us may think boys like it. Well, let me shed a piece of knowledge upon you. It’s not cute at all. Yes, boys like it, but boys do not respect it. MEN, more specifically GENTLEMEN, do not want women that advertise themselves to the world.

Let me break this down a little further…

Ladies, by letting everything show, posting half naked pictures and not actually putting clothes on, you tell an awful lot about yourself. Here’s the list as it follows:

1) You do not truly respect yourself.
-If you respected yourself, you would keep yourself covered up. A woman who respects her body cherishes and understands the importance of leaving things to the imagination. You may think highly of yourself, but you have to reciprocate and also respect yourself as well.

2) You are asking for attention; the wrong kind of attention
-By showing your body, a gentleman will not chase you. Nine times out of ten, you will end up with a dog. Hint: If a dog is always chasing after their own tail, why would they pass up yours? A gentleman like mystery and will not want a woman that everyone else can see.

3) You will tolerate being treated as less than a lady
-To men, they will treat you how you present yourself. If you present yourself as a lady they will treat you as such. If you present yourself as trash, no matter how cute you are or what you have going for you, they will treat you as trash!

My point I would like to place on the table is that the ladies in my generation need to do better, we have to do better! I see so many girls complaining about how guys don’t respect them, yet they don’t respect themselves! Trust me, if you present yourself correctly, then a guy will approach you correctly AND treat you correctly.

Not all guys are dogs, yet all guys are not gentlemen either. You must present yourself as a lady but also demand it as well. Now, I am not saying be stuck up, that is not the key. If a guy does not love you for your smile and your brains, but only loves your body, that is the wrong one. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. He needs to go. Now, a gentleman, will appreciate you because of the simple fact that you present yourself as a lady and demand to be treated as such. They want somebody that knows their worth and knows how to present themselves and act accordingly (that is a topic for another day).

Ladies, my plea is that you take what I said and just think about it. Don’t present yourself as a lady because I asked you to, but do it because you RESPECT and LOVE yourself just that much.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.”
– Thomas S. Monson

The First of Many

Hey everybody. Im Tiana Whitely, 16 years old. Junior at ULS. I have a plethora of hobbies and things I love to do. Cant possibly name them all. I like to think of myself as a 1 Peter 2:9 kind of person and not ashamed to be that way. Just a small intro of me.You’ll learn more about me as you read on in future posts.
For a long time I’ve know that my purpose in life is to help people but I wasn’t sure how. God gave me this idea one day when I was joking around on twitter saying that I was going to write a book about “Playing Roles”. I brushed the idea off because I was joking originally. And as the days went on, things in my life- mainly dealing with relationships and friendships- made the idea come to mind again. Once again I tweeted saying that I was going to write about Playing Roles. And it came up yet again in conversation with some friends, I said it as a joke again. Ever since then It has been on my mind. I was told that something that weighs heavy on your heart deals with some purpose you have to fulfill. So here I am now.
So I’ve been contemplating on whether to sit down and write a book, or to make a blog. Well, my final decision is pretty evident. I thought the blog will have more advantages than a book. This blog isn’t just for females, its for everyone to read. There will be advice from a wide range of POV’s. I’ll be discussing all different types of topics.
I hope my blog will be helpful and give some useful insight on life and the issues we have to face. Sometimes the advice that we get come from people of a different generation. And usually it doesn’t help. The advice is great but it only worked for them in a different era. Sometimes it’s comforting to hear things from someone that is just like you. Something I hope my blog accomplishes is to let all my fellow teens out there know that they aren’t alone. Many times it seems as though the things we must endure only happens to us, no one understands, or maybe no one even cares. Im here to assure you that 10/10 that is not the not the case. There is someone else out there that is going through the same exact thing you’re going through. Its comforting to know that you’re not alone. But the disturbing truth is that many of us don’t have the opportunity to get a simple glimpse of knowing they aren’t alone because we as a people don’t like to talk about our troubles to each other. We are scared of being looked down upon or embarrassed to tell what we’ve gone through; Not knowing that by having a simple conversation, we could help someone else or even help ourselves.
For those of you who are reading this, whomever you may be, I hope my future posts will be of some benefit to you. Know that life is a struggle but you don’t have to go through it alone. I hope I impact your life in some kind of way. Thank you for reading and allowing me the opportunity to help. You are much appreciated.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you.”
– Mother Teresa