College is really a preparation for life. You’re placed put in the world having to be on your own, making important decisions and planning for the rest of your days to come. For me, it is one of the most bittersweet times. I’ve only been in college for one semester, but that was enough to change me for the rest of my life.
This is my first time on my own in the world. Five hundred miles away was a big step for me seeing as the longest I left home was a week. I struggled and still struggle with being on my own. It is difficult when you have to rely on phone calls and text messages to keep in touch when everyone is so far away. Sometimes loneliness will sneak up on you and smother you. It’s rough mentally, physically and emotionally. There is no hug from the ones you need it the most. Emotions become unbearable because nobody understands. Mental strength leaves when you need it the most because of late nights, early mornings and busy days.
You learn who is truly for you. Those who claim that they will send things and keep in touch seem to disappear with each passing day. You’re forced to make friends with people who come from different parts of the world and can be completely different than you. Sometimes that call or text to someone back home isn’t answered until the next day, if its answered at all.
Survival becomes your life. Especially for a student traveling so far from home, everything is no longer at your disposable. Some days you have to go without the things that you need. Money starts to run low. The cafe isn’t serving anything worth eating. You have to learn how to work with what you have because what you have is all that you get.
You can no longer be the carefree person that you once were. There is no room for mistakes. Pity is no longer granted. Every choice you make virtually impacts your life. At times, there is no help, so you have to make your own way and somehow think of something out of nothing.
God is really the only thing that keeps you sane. Through all of it, He really is the only one to see you through all of the craziness, although the craziness seems to make Him feel so far away.
Don’t get me wrong, college is amazing. The freedom is endless. The parties are always jumping. The new relationships that you make are priceless. The experience is wonderful. It’s just the lessons that can be hard. Life lessons, I mean. The big point in all of this is: College has taught me that pain only pushes you forward. Some days the pain is unbearable, but it’s helping you to grow. I just so happen to be in that stage myself. As I evaluate what I have gone through in these last few months, I can’t see my lessons as being all bad, even though the pain of learning it is tough. You must take things with a grain of salt and see the lesson behind it all. Open up your mind to the big picture and release yourself from the small box of only seeing things for face value. Life is so much bigger than that. It’s amazing for me to think about how only four months of college has forced me to be outside of my comfort zone and really, I mean really have to put on my big girl panties. Some days, I must admit, I can be a baby. Comparing August to now, I am so much more than when I began.
For those of you who are on your way to college, just know, everything happens for a reason. Your end result will be better than the beginning if you just stick through the process no matter how tough the process is.
I love you all! Xo.