The Thirst is Too Real

Why must folks be so thirsty? The world may never know.

Let me back track for those who may be a little lost… Thirsty is a term commonly used by teens to refer to the act of begging for attention or going to extreme measures to gain attention. Now back to the regularly scheduled program…

People are taking ‘Thirst’ to a new level. The things that people do to get attention is ridiculous. Especially on social media sites. Twerking videos, half naked pictures, you name it, I’ve seen it and then some. People think it cute, but it looks desperate.

We are approaching valentine’s day weekend, and I’ve seen thirst reach an all time high. Now let’s pause for the cause. Valentine’s day is meant for dedicating a day to somebody special or a significant other. Let me ask this: Why, oh why, are people begging for somebody to be their valentine? If you don’t have a significant other then follow these steps:
1) Stop the Thirst
2) Dust Yourself off
3) Wait for somebody to come, if they don’t then be happy with being with yourself (stick a pin in the underlined phrase)
4) BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE, or Treat a friend/group of friends

Trust me ya’ll it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have a valentine. No 2014 valentine? Cool. Wait patiently for somebody to come along next time. Waiting for somebody worth being a valentine is a lot better than searching for a temporary, insignificant one. Same goes for Sweetest Day!

On a normal day, its no different. I see people begging for attention; directly and indirectly. I just want some of ya’ll to know that you have to learn to be comfortable with yourself. If you are comfortable with yourself, then you won’t need – scratch that – you wouldn’t want attention. Don’t get me wrong, its always cool to ask for somebody to talk to. Doing it all the time? That’s not cool.

If you are pics or videos to bring attention to your body, you may want to check your self-esteem level (see my last post). If your begging for somebody to always talk to or chat with on social media, check your desperation level. Twerk videos every week? You just need to have a seat.

Since I’m talking about thirst, let me address how people are quick to use the word thirsty. If someone is showing interest in you, then it is NOT THIRST. Unless they blow up your phone 24/7 and they can’t catch a hint, then you may happily label them as thirsty. Now if they are genuinely showing you that they would like to get to know you, and take the time to give you the attention you are begging for, then that is labeled as caring. Half of you complain about wanting some attention and when somebody is willing to go above and beyond that, then ya’ll call them thirsty. I don’t understand that.

We, as a generation need to get it together. There is too much priority placed on gaining attention and there is no urgency to be comfortable with being with yourself. Be comfortable with the little attention you get. All attention isn’t good attention. You shouldn’t want everyone in your space because no every is benefitting you (this will be a whole other post that is coming soon). Only have a few friends or people to talk to? Make the most out of it! People please, people please, people please. Don’t let somebody special pass you by because you want to sit on your high horse and call them thirsty. Just keep that in mind.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“It’s an interesting combination: Having a great fear of being alone, and having a desperate need for solitude and the solitary experience. That’s always been a tug of war for me.”
– Jodie Foster

“I finally faced the fact that it isn’t a crime not having friends. Being alone means you have fewer problems.”
– Whitney Houston

Love Yourself!

Why does the world tell us that we – ladies- have to look a certain way to be labeled beautiful? High cheek bones. Skin of marble. Hair down to the waist. Wide hips. Thick legs. Eyes of a different color other than brown. Flat stomach. We have to be shaped like the ideal “coca-cola bottle”. The world wants us to look perfect, but perfect is impossible.

Real beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. Curvy, straight, round, or boxy. No matter what your shape is, you are beautiful. Being different is beautiful. Knowing that in some way, you don’t look like anyone else. Even identical twins have something that makes them different, even though the difference is a slight fraction. What I find unattractive is looking like everyone else. Being different makes you special. Irreplaceable.

Real beauty is being comfortable in your own skin. Love who you are and love what you look like. Even supermodels need make-up and a little photoshop to make them seem flawless. Learning to make your flaws work for you is attractive.

My point in saying this: Ladies, please stop compromising your bodies to make someone else think you are beautiful. The way you are now, with your clothes on, flaws and all, you are gorgeous. Never forget it. Don’t let the world swindle you into thinking your not. You don’t have to take half naked pictures for people to notice you. You most definitely don’t need to over accentuate your curves. The greatest curve you have is your smile.

The One who created us made us just the way He wanted. Embrace you. I don’t know about ya’ll, but I love my skinny legs, big forehead, and all. Yes, we all have our insecurities. It’s perfectly normal. We are all human. Do not, under any circumstances, allow your insecurities to make you change. FYI, I guarantee that your knight in shining armor, wherever he may be in this world, will love you for who you are. Your REAL friends will love you for who you are.

If you don’t tell yourself that you are beautiful, if you don’t see yourself as beautiful, nobody else will.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Year in a Nutshell

This year has been the toughest year of my life. Emotional ups and downs, losing more than I imagined, being hurt tremendously, and being in a place of helplessness. One thing about this year that I must admit is that it is has been a lesson.

My first lesson was reality. Reality is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Reality hurts most when you come to grips with the fact that life will never be the same. The lesson comes in when you learn how to make change work in your favor. Change, no matter if its good or bad, can always work to make things better, whether losing or gaining…

Which brings me to lesson 2: Losing. I’ve lost friends this year. I’ve lost people that I deeply care about. Most of the time it was a loss of communication, or they just decided to walk away. It hurts. As humans, we tend to expect people to stay when in fact, most people are only meant for a season. Others are just dead weight. Those seasonal people are there to either guide you to the next step, or show you something new. They aren’t meant to stay forever and you can’t blame them for that. Now, the dead weight folks, are just things that happen to stick to you on your journey. They are people who are either users, haters, or people to hold you back. You can’t blame them either. A person must be true to who they are. This lesson taught me to appreciate those who are always in my corner.

Lesson 3: Happiness. Happiness is just an emotion. You can be happy now, and in the blink of an eye you can go through five other emotions. Happiness is temporary. My happiness would come one moment and everything from senior stress to carrying burdens would take it right away. One thing that this world can’t take is my joy. I had to learn to dwell in my joy.

This year has been rough, but It’s one simple thought that kept me afloat.
“It can always be worse.”
Life has proven that to me time and time again. When I think things couldn’t get worse, they did, but I knew that my situation was only meant to prepare me for my next level. My reason in saying all of this is because life tends to put you through a test in order to teach you a lesson. Whatever difficult time that you are in right now, is only meant to teach you something new. What is the test teaching? Only you can decide. Never take a struggle as something designed to break you. Thats what haters and the enemy sees your struggle as. If it was meant to break you, you wouldn’t be here reading this right now. Be wise enough to know that your struggle is only a setup for a comeback. Its setting you up to come back stronger, wiser, and more independent. Above all else, know that you has the best coach in all of the universe behind your back. God is always there, so never think that you are alone in this world. Your purpose is far greater than your pain, so keep pushing!

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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Presentation is the Key

As many of you may or may not know, I’m quite on The Gram (Instagram) quite. So I see a lot of things down my TL – everything from shout-outs, games, and regrams. You name it. More often than lately I’ve been seeing so many posts of half naked females. If I see another, I’m going to SCREAM! So, I was inspired to write a little on self-esteem.

Self-esteem: n : A respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

I felt the need to put the definition up because we often times like to think of self-esteem and self-respect as being two separate things. No, they are the same.

Just as a check point: This post is specifically for my ladies who are reading. Not to discount my guys, I promise that I have something for you guys soon.

Any who… Recall my last post in which I discussed who we must love ourselves. Remember? Great. Now let’s take it a step further. I have some ladies that do not love what they see in the mirror, and apparently there are those who love themselves too much.

“What do you mean by that Tiana?” I’m glad you asked.

By loving yourself too much, I mean those of us who feel the need to show our goodies on social networks or walk around half-naked. Some of us may think it’s sexy, and some of us may think boys like it. Well, let me shed a piece of knowledge upon you. It’s not cute at all. Yes, boys like it, but boys do not respect it. MEN, more specifically GENTLEMEN, do not want women that advertise themselves to the world.

Let me break this down a little further…

Ladies, by letting everything show, posting half naked pictures and not actually putting clothes on, you tell an awful lot about yourself. Here’s the list as it follows:

1) You do not truly respect yourself.
-If you respected yourself, you would keep yourself covered up. A woman who respects her body cherishes and understands the importance of leaving things to the imagination. You may think highly of yourself, but you have to reciprocate and also respect yourself as well.

2) You are asking for attention; the wrong kind of attention
-By showing your body, a gentleman will not chase you. Nine times out of ten, you will end up with a dog. Hint: If a dog is always chasing after their own tail, why would they pass up yours? A gentleman like mystery and will not want a woman that everyone else can see.

3) You will tolerate being treated as less than a lady
-To men, they will treat you how you present yourself. If you present yourself as a lady they will treat you as such. If you present yourself as trash, no matter how cute you are or what you have going for you, they will treat you as trash!

My point I would like to place on the table is that the ladies in my generation need to do better, we have to do better! I see so many girls complaining about how guys don’t respect them, yet they don’t respect themselves! Trust me, if you present yourself correctly, then a guy will approach you correctly AND treat you correctly.

Not all guys are dogs, yet all guys are not gentlemen either. You must present yourself as a lady but also demand it as well. Now, I am not saying be stuck up, that is not the key. If a guy does not love you for your smile and your brains, but only loves your body, that is the wrong one. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. He needs to go. Now, a gentleman, will appreciate you because of the simple fact that you present yourself as a lady and demand to be treated as such. They want somebody that knows their worth and knows how to present themselves and act accordingly (that is a topic for another day).

Ladies, my plea is that you take what I said and just think about it. Don’t present yourself as a lady because I asked you to, but do it because you RESPECT and LOVE yourself just that much.

I love you all! Xo.
Tiana

Twitter: CutiePiee_

“Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.”
– Thomas S. Monson